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Post by Admin on Jun 5, 2014 15:44:14 GMT
Copy and paste your rough draft to the "Quick Reply" space under this thread. Post it to the message board. Make sure YOUR FIRST NAME and the FIRST LETTER of your last name is included with your rough draft. ( For example John S.) Use the Peer Editing guidelines to help you with the editing of your peers's papers. Select TWO of your peers' rough draft from this thread only (students Ber- Mil).
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Post by weronika on Jun 11, 2014 13:07:38 GMT
Weronika Politowicz Politowicz 1 Ms. Kurzyna English 10 June 2014
Tourette’s Syndrome
Tourette’s syndrome may cause children to possess other diseases or disorders in adulthood. It is a neurological disorder which is characterized by repeated tics. Tourette’s is a very complex disorder that isn’t completely understood (Steer). Tourette’s is passed down through genes, but young children around the ages of eight to their early teens can be diagnosed with it. It is very common for children to have Tourette’s, especially boys. They have a much bigger chance of obtaining the disorder than girls. Tics are almost always classified as “complex” and “simple” (Packer). Tourette’s is named after Dr. Georges Gilles de la Tourette. He was a pioneering French nobleman who found the condition in an eighty-six year old French noblewoman in 1885 (“Tourette Syndrome Fact Sheet”). Tourette’s affects all children’s behaviour differently. There isn’t much information on Tourette’s or where it comes from, but from what scientists have found out so far is that there are brain regions inside the brain which are effected by Tourettes. These regions are: the frontal lobes and the basal ganglia (Steer). Most children which inherit Tourette syndrome usually get it in their childhood or early teenage years. As they grow older though, they can begin to improve or even lose all of their symptoms (Steer). If these symptoms are too bothersome, there are over the counter or doctor prescribed medicines. These medicines don’t work for all children though. Treatment for Tourette's is determined by a child’s
Politowicz 2 healthcare provider (“Physician Referral”) But along with Tourettes, a child can also gain other disorders. ADHD is one common disorder associated with Tourettes. It is thought that up to two thirds of children with Tourette’s, also have ADHD. OCD is also genetically related to Tourettes. Other neurobehavioral disorders are depression, generalized anxiety, panic attacks, and mood swings, these are all possible disorders that can come with Tourettes. As children grow out of Tourette’s disorder, they will still have to deal with any of the disorders listed above. The NINDS and NIH are responsible for supporting and conducting research on the brain and nervous system. Currently, NIH funded investigators are conducting a variety of large scaled genetic studies. Information about Tourettes comes from studies across many medical and scientific disciplines.
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Post by taylors on Jun 11, 2014 13:09:51 GMT
Taylor Simon Ms. Kurzyna English 1 11 June, 2014
“You, with your words like knifes and swords and weapons that you use against me you have knocked me off my feet again.”(Taylor Swift) Bullying can lead to many different reactions, some of them severe. Traditionally kids who were bullied had to learn to deal with it. It was considered to be a part of life, but certain people aren’t the same. Certain people become upset and occasionally depressed. Modern day bullying is much more complex, because of this, depression is a common result of bullying today. Bullying is much more complex asopposed to what it used to be. Now there are multiple types of bullying such as verbal bullying, name calling, social bullying or physical bullying.(“Bullying”) Cyber bullying has become one of the most common types of bullying today. In the movie “Cyberbully” she became really upset and depressed and tried to commit suicide because of all of the rude comments online. They create these movies to show you how bullying can effect a person. Most people can deal with the physical abuse for one day, but bullying is a completely different issue. When a situation happens over and over again it becomes hard to handle. The victim’s schoolwork, health, and relationships start to change and it becomes worse if no ones there to help you.(“Bullying”) This has been becoming an issue that led to the law stating that all bullying in schools must be reported. Some people are bullied because they are different in some sort of way. Everyone has flaws and no one should be judged because of it. Usually people are bullied because of their appearance, behavior or social status.(“Bullying”) Someone might be very short compared to someone else or have a disease they cannot control. These are only some of the reasons people are bullied. Other’s may be shy and don’t want to talk to people and they get made fun of and bullied for it. They shouldn’t though; you should communicate with them and make them feel like one of you. Everywhere, research proves that bullying starts because of peoples different personalities. People around the scene can stand up and speak up for each other. Instead they would rather make sure their reputation is safe. In many cases, high school students commit suicide because no one was brave enough to speak up for them. In most cases the victim is to afraid to speak up for him/her self. (“Bullying”)Research has shown that when teachers and students recognize bullying and did something to stop bullying, it decreased.(“Bullying”) There is a lot more research to support that bullying can lead to depression in the upcoming paragraphs. There have been many studies done throughout the years that bullying does lead to depression. One study in the journal Prevention Sciences explains two teenage girls who were involved in substance due to bullying related depression. The Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry made a study in 2007. It identified that bullying is a risk factor for depression and suicidal attempts. Another study that was published in the Prevention Sciences took a nationwide survey of 1500 tenth grade students. It asked many questions; the survey was studying the kinds of bullying, depression and substance use. It proved that all forms of bullying increased the risk for depression in both boys and girls. Many researchers were following 486 kids with symptoms of depression. The parents, teachers, and kids took surveys. The results were four percent Hispanic, sixteen percent African American, and mostly students that were white. It also had a lot to do with upper and middle classes. A newer study says that people who were bullied when young are more likely to have mental disorders. The final survey was The National Crime Victimization Survey in 2011. 27.8 percent of students were bullied at school at the age of twelve to eighteen and nine percent were cyber bullied. In conclusion when students or anybody for that matter is bullied it can lead to depression. One out of four students are bullied daily and we can change that. Lets make it 1 out of every 100 students instead! No one deserves to be bullied and no one should feel as if they don’t belong in this world.
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Post by austinmora10 on Jun 11, 2014 13:11:35 GMT
Mora I Austin Mora Miss Kurzyna English 1A 6 June 2014 The Evolution of the Ice Hockey Stick Have you ever wondered how such a simple looking object like the ice hockey stick could have underwent such a huge evolution? The ice hockey stick started out as a single piece of wood carved from a tree back in the mid-1800s. Now a little over two-hundred years later it has transformed into a high tech composite hockey stick. The technological advancements of the ice hockey stick have proved to change the game of hockey completely. The area of the stick that has gone through the most change by far is what the stick is made from. In the mid 1800s people would make their own sticks by cutting them out of trees. When the 1900s came along companies began manufacturing the simple one-piece wooden hockey stick. In the 1950s the manufacturers began reinforcing the wooden sticks by wrapping them in fiberglass. The next big change in material came along in 1990 when a company named Easton, who had been making aluminum baseball bats for awhile now decided to try making a hockey stick out of aluminum. The shaft of the stick was made of hollow aluminum and a wooden blade wood be inserted into the end of the shaft. Then in 2000 the composite stick was born, which consisted of graphite materials bound together (Feschuk). The composite stick Mora II remains as the top used hockey stick today, but every year companies come out with a lighter and more durable composite stick to improve the abilities of the player. The next part of the ice hockey stick has not had a lot of change to it but had one very significant change to it, this part being the blade of the stick. In the beginning the blade of the stick was a flat, square surface. Over time the blade remained flat but started to round out and lose the square shape. Then in the 1960s the blade made its biggest transformation, which would be the curving of the blade. The curving of the blade happened accidentally when a player broke the blade of their stick during practice and started shooting around with the broken blade. Amazed by the performance of the bent blade player began curving their sticks by running them under hot water to soften it and then wedging the blade in a door jamb until it curved (Cavette). Now all blades are curved either to the left or right depending on left or right hand dominance. There are different kinds of curves on the blades to fulfill every player’s desire. The shaft of the hockey stick has evolved the least out of the other properties. The changes to the shaft have mainly resulted from the change in materials of the stick. Back when the shaft was just a solid piece of wood it was nothing but a piece of wood that connected the player to the puck. Today’s modern shafts contain high tech flexibility rates which are known as the “flex” of the stick. The flex of a stick corresponds to the amount of force in pounds that it takes to bend the shaft one inch from its initial point (Ernst). The flex of a stick can range from50 to 120, so a stick that is 90 flex would take 90 pounds of force to bend it one inch. The flexing of the shaft is a very important part in the shooting process. When shooting the puck the shaft acts like a spring and absorbs all the force put down on the stick and releases the force into the shot. Mora III The hockey stick has endured many changes over the last two-hundred years from a simple piece of wood to the high performance stick used by more than ninety percent of players today (Dtsallee). The changes made to the hockey stick have transformed the game of hockey due to the improved abilities of the players. Companies are always coming out with newer and better sticks each year and there will always be room to improve and evolve some more. Mora IV Cavette, Michael. “hockey stick.” How Products are Made. N.P., 2014. Web. 27 May 2014. <http://www.madehow.com/Volume-4/Hockey-Stick.html > . Dtsallee. “evolution of hockey sticks.” StudyMode.com. N.P., Nov. 2010 Web. 27 May. 2014. <http://www.studymode.com/essays/Evolution-Of-Hockey-Sticks-477149.html >. Ernst, E. Maxwell. “ composite technology and the hockey stick revolution.” Illumin. USC, 2012. Web. 27 May. 2014. <http://illumin.usc.edu/printer/223/composite-technology-and-the-hockey-stick-revolution/ >. Feschuk, Dave. “Evolution of the ice hockey stick.” TheStar.com. N.P., 22 Dec. 2012. Web. 27 May. 2014. <http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/2012/12/22/evolution_of_the_hockey_stick. html > .
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Post by destinymarie on Jun 11, 2014 13:18:13 GMT
Destiny VanOrden: Commenting on Weronika I watched a movie about Tourette's! Paper is very interesting, but I feel like your introduction could be a little stronger. I would have started the first paragraph off with the second sentence, to start with a definition. Then I would get to the rest, I feel the introduction is a bit more specific than the body. Great job!
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Post by wagner22 on Jun 11, 2014 13:22:32 GMT
Bryttany W. commenting on Weronika P.: I think that your paper could be a little longer. I also think that the reader wont really understand exactly what Tourettes are so maybe try defining it a little better and anything that the reader might not know what it is. But it was a really good paper and i definatley learned from it,
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Post by poppanasisi on Jun 11, 2014 13:22:41 GMT
john nasisi the best student T h e E v o l u t i o n o f t h e F o o t b a l l H e l m e t F r o m a t h i n p i e c e o f l e a t h e r c r a f t e d b y a s h o e m a k e r t o a h i g h t e c h p i e c e o f e q u i p m e n t t h e f o o t b a l l h e l m e t h a s e v o l v e d t r e m e n d o u s l y . H e a d i n j u r i e s an r e a t h i n g o f t h e p a s t t h a n k s t o o u r c r a s h t e s t e d h e l m e t s. B a c k i n t h e l a t e 1 8 0 0 s r o u g h l y w h e n t h e h e l m e t w a s i n v e n t e d t h e r e w a s n o p r o t e c t i o n f o r y o u r h e a d a t a l l . T h e e a r l i e s t t r a c e o f t h e h e l m e t d a t e s b a c k t o 1 8 9 3 i n t h e a r m y n a v y g a m e . A d m i r a l J o s e p h R e e v e h a d b e e n k i c k e d a n d h i t i n t h e h e a d s o m a n y t i m e s , h i s d o c t o r t o l d h i m t h a t a n o t h e r h a r d i m p a c t c o u l d l e a d t o i n s t a n t i n s a n i t y . B u t d e t e r m i n e d t o p l a y a b i g g a m e R e e v e w e n t t o h i s s h o e m a k e r a n d h a d h i m m a k e a m o l e s k i n h a t . A l t h o u g h t h e m o l e s k i n h a t w a s n o t a s s a f e a s t o d a y s h e l m e t i t s t i l l d i d t h e j o b . S l o w l y t h e h e l m e t w a s E v o l v i n g . A d a p t i n g t o t h e n e e d s o f t h e p l a y e r s . T h e e a r l y 1 9 0 0 s s o f t l e a t h e r s k u l l c a p s a p p e a r e d a s o p t i o n a l h e a d g e a r . I t w a s n t u n t i l 1 9 3 9 w h e n J o h n T . R i d d e l i n t r o d u c e d t h e f i r s t p l a s t i c h e l m e t . U n f o r t u n a t e l y t h e d u r a b l e h e l m e t b e c a m e m o r e s c a r c e b e c a u s e p l a s t i c w a s i n l i t t l e s u p p l y d u r i n g W W I I . Y e t t h e f o o t b a l l h e l m e t w o u l d n o t b e m a d e m a n d a t o r y u n t i l 1 9 4 3 . T h e n e w p l a s t i c h e l m e t s w h e r e g r e a t . N o m o r e h e a d i n j u r y . T h e g a m e w a s s a f e r a l l a r o u n d , b u t , t h e r e w a s o n e m o r e p r o b l e m . A l l t h e h e l m e t s w e r e s t i l l o P E n f a c e d. P l a y e r s c a m e o u t o f g a m e s w i t h b l a c k e y e s b l o o d y n o s e s a n d s w o l l e n l i p s . A n o t h e r i n n o v a t i o n w a s i n t r o d u c e d t o t h e f o o t b a l l h e l m e t . T h e s i n g l e f a c e b a r w a s a d d e d t o t h e p a d d e d p l a s t i c h e l m e t s . I n t h e e a r l y 1 9 7 0 s , h e l m e t m a n u f a c t u r e r R i d d e l i n t r o d u c e d a h e l m e t d e s i g n t h a t f e a t u r e d a n i n f l a t a b l e a i r b l a d d e r i n s i d e t h e h e l m e t . T h e i d e a w a s t h a t a p l a y e r w o u l d p u t t h e h e l m e t o n , a n d t h e n i n f l a t e t h e a i r b l a d d e r t o a c o m f o r t a b l e l e v e l
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Post by poppanasisi on Jun 11, 2014 13:23:39 GMT
hey yall
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Post by taylors on Jun 11, 2014 13:24:02 GMT
Taylor S commenting on Weronika P: Beginning: Maybe explain a little bit more of what the disease is.
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Post by austinmora10 on Jun 11, 2014 13:28:17 GMT
Austin M. John your essay is very interesting. both in its format and its info. you just need a little more info
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